He has a rule – eyes have to be covered
By: Nate in the Midwest
There’s no easy way to say this except to just blurt it out. I’ve been sleeping with my straight roommate since going into lockdown.
It’s not like we planned this or anything. I’ve been living with Mike for the past year, which pre-dates COVID-19. But due to the rules involving social distancing and non-physical contact with others, things just kind of happened.
Now before I dive too deep, I need to say right now things aren’t like you might think. Mike has put special rules in place.
A little background. I’m twenty-five and identify as bi. My roommate – Mike – is 24 and identifies as straight. We live in the Midwest and share an apartment together in a large metropolitan city.
Prior to going into lockdown in March, I was employed as a sales manager in the transportation sector. For his part, Mike worked as a personal trainer and fitness coach.
We’ve always gotten along well but, I can’t say we were ever close. Well, at least not until recently.
How It First Happened
On the very first day of the mandatory shutdown, Mike’s gym closed. I was able to hang on to my job for a week, but ultimately got furloughed due to lack of demand.
Both of us are single, with Mike breaking up with his girlfriend shortly after the New Year. I don’t know why their relationship collapsed but, I think it had something to do with communication issues.
During the entire time we’ve lived together, Mike has never once shown an interest in men. And to keep it real, I can honestly say the guy is as straight as they come.
To give you an idea, his hobbies include duck hunting, NASCAR racing, and non-stop ESPN. Not that I don’t get into sports. I do. But he’s obsessed with it to the point where it is annoying. And to top things off, he played soccer and basketball.
I digress but I think you get the idea.
During the first couple of weeks of lockdown, we tried passing the time like a lot of folks do – Netflix, board games, and super long walks to get in cardio.
Can you relate?
Mike even started showing me ways to workout using resistance bands and a kettlebell. Kind of cool, huh? During these training sessions, we got to know one another better and in ways that I can’t explain, increased our level of trust.
At any rate, a few weeks ago, on a Friday night – Mike busted out some 420. This wasn’t a surprise because in the past, we’ve shared a smoke together.
But on this occasion, things were different.
It was around 9 pm. We were blowing clouds and watching The Oath on Crackle. As things got cloudier, my ability to focus got blurrier.
Not in the psychedelic kind of way but instead, just more detached – know what I mean?
He started talking about wishing he could hook up with women and was tired of the whole social distancing thing. In my own way, I revealed I was struggling with the same thing.
And yep – Mike knows that I’m bi but has never been judged me on that.
So, there we are, smoking and talking. At some point, he leaned back into the couch and clasped his hands behind his head. That’s when I noticed what was going on in his shorts.
I won’t go into graphic detail here except to say that it was massively obvious. When I told him he was showing, Mike literally turned to me and said, “Dude, I wish you were a chick.”
Look, I’m no dummy. I’ve been around long enough to know about a brojob request. A moment later, I said, “What if we pretend that I am?”
Covering The Eyes
At first there was an awkward silence. But then, after taking a super deep toke, Mike replied, “Cool man but I’m covering my eyes.”
That’s when he grabbed a homemade bandana-facemask and covered his peeps.
The first time it happened, I can still remember feeling super nervous sliding down his blue shorts. Was he going to deck me? Was he just kidding? Would he wig out?
In the end, he was being dead serious.
Much of what happened next is a foggy blur. I remember some quiet moaning and grunting. For the most part, he kept his hands clasped behind his head.
When he released there was no warning. He just did it.
When we were done, I do remember him giving me a fist-bump and saying, “Hey dude, it doesn’t count if you can’t see what’s happening.”
I remember thinking it was kind of messed up but went along with it.
In the days that followed that first incident, I worried about our friendship turning awkward. If you’ve ever gotten with a guy who identifies as straight, you know what I mean. Things can turn south real fast.
But honestly – that’s not what happened. At least not yet. I think in part this is because we’ve both pretended like it never happened.
Well, that is until it happened again. And then again – and again after that.
Recently, there has been a turnaround of sorts. You see, I had resigned myself into being the one doing who was doing the servicing. It’s not that I mind. I’ve always found Mike attractive.
But a few nights ago, while watching some rerun-on TV and getting cloudy, he told me to put on the facemask. At first, I was kind of freaked out because I wasn’t sure what he was up to.
“Just do it dude – it’s your turn. Take a toke and put on the mask.”
And so, there I was, sitting on the couch in my grey sweats and pulling this bandana over my eyes. “No looking man – got it?” he said with a seriousness in his voice.
Before I knew it, he was doing his thing. I’m not going to say he was good at it. It was just the opposite. I had to tell him to open his mouth because his teeth were scrapping on me.
In the end though, he got me to release – but wow it took a lot of work.
“Just do it dude – it’s your turn. Take a toke and put on the mask”
The Here and Now
I have no idea how long this whole quarantine thing will last. At the time of this post, it seems like this could go on for many weeks, perhaps into summer.
I know that other people are figuring out how to have a sex life while navigating COVID-19. In fact, it’s a topic that has come up on a number of blogs.
There’s a part of me that wonders how our relationship will change once social distancing is over. Can Mike and I really go back to being simple roomies? Will it feel weird the first time he brings a girl into our apartment?
For now, I’m just going with the flow. My sense is that both of us are just glad to have some physical contact and a way to release – even if it means being childish and wearing blindfolds.
The good news is I don’t have feelings for him. Well, at least I don’t think I do. Time will tell, I guess.
Do you have a roommate? Have you been getting closer since the lockdown?
25 stories of straight men who got curious
I'm sleeping with my husband's brother
Should I sleep with my straight roomie?
So if you've hooked up with your flatmate, it's a good idea to set clear boundaries and stick to them. “Be honest with each other with what you want moving forward,” says dating expert Rachel DeAlto. “Be willing to hear what you may not want to hear and respect their wishes.How do you quarantine an apartment with a roommate? ›
- Stay inside your bedrooms with doors closed as much as possible.
- Wear face coverings except when in the bathroom, eating, or in your bedroom.
- Avoid entering the bathroom within 15 minutes of your apartment-mates.
- Disinfect the bathroom and kitchen as often as possible.
- Eat in separate rooms.
Wear a mask when you're outside of the space. Keep a few cloth masks to wear around. Wash your mask(s) by hand each night. We recommend you keep one in your car, your room, your backpack, and any other place you may frequently visit.What should you not share with roommates? ›
- Personal hygiene products: Toothbrushes. Razors. Bars of soap (liquid soap is okay) Deodorant. ...
- Clothing items: Shoes (especially if the person doesn't wear socks) Underwear. Hats. ...
- Bed: Don't offer up your roommate's bed without first asking.
- Miscellaneous items: Earrings. Headphones.
What is Roommate Syndrome? Couples living together in a marriage that has grown stale, emotionally disconnected, and passionless. Novelty, curiosity, and passion has been replaced with silent routine, predictability and polite disinterest. Many assume roommate syndrome is just a sexless marriage.Can you live in the same house as someone with COVID? ›
It's best for the person who has COVID-19 symptoms or who has tested positive to remain isolated from everyone else in the household. But we know for many people, that's easier said than done. If possible, do everything you can to avoid using the same rooms and restrooms as the person who has tested positive.How do you isolate when you live with others? ›
- stay away from other people and be careful not to spread COVID-19 if you have to be in the same room as someone else.
- wash your hands properly and often – use soap and water or clean them with an alcohol-based hand sanitiser.
separate rooms, using different bathrooms, not sleeping in the same bed, and eating in separate areas. phones or other electronics. person that is diagnosed. Clean and disinfect “high touch” areas, such as door knobs, handles, and light switches.How many nights should my roommates boyfriend stay over? ›
"If your flatmate's partner does nice things and they're a cool person, then it's kind of okay." Most people agree one to two nights a week is fine, but more regular sleepovers should be discussed.How often should a roommates boyfriend stay over? ›
You may want to play it safe by sticking to one or two sleepovers a week with your SO, as this is unlikely to negatively affect your roommates in any noticeable way. If once or twice a week isn't going to cut it, you might switch off and stay at their place here and there as well, to give your roomies a break.
Implement “the boyfriend rule.”
The rule says your roommate's partner can stay at your apartment as many nights per week as your roommate sleeps over at theirs. The result: a maximum of three nights per week when they're both at yours … and three nights that you have the place to yourself!
- try to stay at home and avoid contact with other people for 5 days.
- avoiding meeting people at higher risk from COVID-19 for 10 days, especially if their immune system means they're at higher risk of serious illness from COVID-19, even if they've had a COVID-19 vaccine.
People with moderate or severe COVID-19 should isolate through at least day 10. Those with severe COVID-19 may remain infectious beyond 10 days and may need to extend isolation for up to 20 days.How do you deal with COVID with a roommate? ›
"We strongly recommend that the person diagnosed with COVID-19 should be wearing a mask indoors and when they are in the company of someone else," El-Sadr said. Two-way masking, or masking up for both roommates, is even more effective.What do roommates fight about most often? ›
- Who Gets the Bigger Room. ...
- Who's Doing the Dishes. ...
- How the Dishes and Other Chores Get Done. ...
- Getting/Taking Care of Pets. ...
- Having Company Over. ...
- Having Hookups Over. ...
- Paying the Rent on Time. ...
- The Temperature of the Apartment.
The textbook toxic person is charming, needy, manipulative and energy-draining, among other things. They can be your coworker, your boyfriend or girlfriend or, yes, your roommate.What are some roommate rules? ›
- Actively communicate with your roommates. ...
- Clean up your own messes. ...
- Ask before using your roommates' belongings. ...
- Respect personal space. ...
- Be mindful when having guests over. ...
- Split chores equally. ...
- Contribute to household supplies. ...
- Pay bills on time.
There is no proper name for it. Celibacy implies choice, and doesn't reveal whether both partners are happy. Anecdotally, there may be many more married or cohabiting couples than statistics show who are happily, or resignedly, not having sex. Another factor to consider, and something of a buzzword, is asexuality.What causes sexless marriage? ›
Marriages become sexless for a variety of reasons. Common reasons are a lack of desire, postpartum depression, frequent marital conflict, or a recent marital crisis or personal crisis that has impacted the client.How do you fix a sexless relationship? ›
When fixing a sexless marriage, “A first step would be working through any areas of resentment in the relationship and fostering emotional closeness through increased time together, intimate conversation, and affection,” says Dr. Wyatt Fisher, a licensed psychologist and marriage counselor.
Infectiousness usually begins to decrease after day 5, but this doesn't mean you can't spread the virus beginning on day 6. This is why it is SO important to wear a mask through day 10. Everyone's immune response is different, and we can spread the virus for different amounts of time.How long after testing positive for Covid should I retest? ›
Once you've tested positive for the virus, you do not need to be tested again for 90 days from symptom onset, if you became ill, or from the date of your positive test, if you remained asymptomatic.What is the best medicine for Covid cough? ›
Use medications containing guaifenesin, such as Robitussin, Mucinex, and Vicks 44E. keeping you from getting rest. Coughing is useful because it brings up mucus from the lungs and helps prevent bacterial infections. People with asthma and other lung diseases need to cough.Why do some people not get COVID? ›
It's possible to have genetic features that make you resistant to COVID infection. Researchers have noted this before with viral infections, like HIV. But there's still more research to be done in this area. Given the high rates of COVID infection, it's likely that there aren't many people who are immune.Can cats catch COVID? ›
The virus that causes COVID-19 can spread from people to animals during close contact. Pets worldwide, including cats and dogs, have been infected with the virus that causes COVID-19, mostly after close contact with people with COVID-19. The risk of pets spreading COVID-19 to people is low.How is Omicron transmitted? ›
How does the Omicron variant spread? Although it still spreads from person-to-person through air (within 6 feet through respiratory droplets), research shows that the Omicron variant likely spreads easier and faster than the original COVID-19 virus.How long does coronavirus stay airborne in a room? ›
Particles from an infected person can move throughout an entire room or indoor space. The particles can also linger in the air after a person has left the room – they can remain airborne for hours in some cases.How do you avoid catching Covid from someone you live with? ›
- try to stay away from other people you live with.
- spend as little time as possible in spaces you share with other people (such as living rooms and kitchens)
A negative COVID-19 test means the test did not detect the virus, but this doesn't rule out that you could have an infection. If you used an antigen test, see FDA instructions on repeat testing. If you have symptoms: You may have COVID-19, but tested before the virus was detectable, or you may have another illness.Is it OK to share a bed with someone? ›
Health benefits. While sharing a bed can be intimate and romantic, there are some major health benefits to sleeping together, too. Sleeping together can lower your blood pressure (because of oxytocin, which we'll talk about a little later). Sleeping together can reduce inflammation.
You may want to play it safe by sticking to one or two sleepovers a week with your SO, as this is unlikely to negatively affect your roommates in any noticeable way. If once or twice a week isn't going to cut it, you might switch off and stay at their place here and there as well, to give your roomies a break.How do you sleep when your partner isn't home? ›
- The Substitute Snuggle Buddy. ...
- Treat Yourself to a Relaxing Bedtime Routine. ...
- Permit Yourself to Stay Up Late. ...
- Ask Them to Stay In Touch with Goodnight Messages. ...
- Journal Your Worries if You are Worried. ...
- Write Them a Love Letter Before Bed.
A sleep divorce is simply sleeping apart, in separate beds or bedrooms so that both partners can get the best sleep, says Shelby Harris, a licensed clinical psychologist and director of sleep health at Sleepopolis.What do couples do in bed at night? ›
Bedtime couple intimate activities include cuddling, massaging, kissing, and making love. Sleeping habits are also essential for couples, and couples should lie down together whenever possible.Why do couples stop sleeping together? ›
Couples may stop having sex due to a lack of trust after an affair, exhaustion, boredom, and conflicting parenting styles, among other reasons. Understanding why a couple's sex life has stopped is the first step toward improving it.Should roommates partner pay rent? ›
If the roommates don't ask at all, the significant other should at least try to be very polite and contribute a nice gift. Some points of clarification: If a girlfriend or boyfriend lives in an apartment full-time (i.e., isn't renting another place of their own), they should pay a full share of bills and rent.What are healthy roommate rules with partners? ›
- Establish some basic rules. ...
- Don't borrow without asking. ...
- Respect the other person's space. ...
- Follow the Golden Rule. ...
- Be respectful when inviting guests. ...
- Clean up your own messes. ...
- Keep your hands off the other person's food. ...
- Respect the need for quiet time.
There is no set number of nights which mean that the DWP will see you as living together. So, if your partner stays over a few nights a week, that doesn't mean you should be counted as a couple when it comes to benefits – it depends on lots of other factors.